We live in a society that is steeped in shame-based programming. Shame is the root of feeling unworthy. 

It’s important to distinguish between guilt and shame. 

Guilt arises when we feel we have done something wrong, something against our internal value system; shame, on the other hand, is felt when we believe we are wrong. 

Shame reinforces the underlying core belief that we are unworthy. Unworthy of love, unworthy of goodness, unworthy of the things we really want in life. 

Most humans carry this core belief of unworthiness, it’s been programmed deeply into our minds. But, shame is also just a habit. 

When I notice myself going beyond the healthy red flag of guilt, and begin to hear my internal dialogue criticizing and shaming me, I pause. I remind myself that “I’m in the habit of shaming myself, this is just a habit.” Sometimes I even laugh. 

Then I quickly assess. What did I do that was not in alignment with my internal values. I’ll take notice, re-commit to living my principles and forgive myself. I release shame. I also let go of guilt, which is just a signal, not a state to dwell in.

If you find yourself stuck in the cycle of shame, remember that it’s merely a habit.

Break the cycle, let go of the addiction to shame. 

You are worthy. You are lovable.